airline

Real life implementation of a fat bastard tax

The aisle seat is the preferred location for fat bastard seats.

The aisle seat is the preferred location for fat bastard seats.

I’ve long advocated for a fat bastard tax, a tax that only fat bastards pay.

This is instead of broad brush taxes that advocates say are needed to address obesity. Since no one forces fat bastards to eat mountains of food it seems sensible to charge the people with the problem and call it a fat bastard tax.

Hawaiian Airlines has now introduced their own version of a fat bastard tax:

Hawaiian Airlines has won the right to weigh people before they board their planes.?? Read more »

A clear-cut example of corruption

It has been revealed that the Wellington City Council has basically bribed Singapore Airlines to fly to Wellington Airport.

The ratepayers are going to have to pay $800,000 per annum for 10 years…and the deal was all done in secret.

The leaking of details of a multi-million dollar subsidy for Singapore Airlines flights into Wellington has “undermined” Wellington City Council’s relationship with the airline, leaked emails claim.

In the days after Singapore Airlines and Wellington International Airport announced a new service linking the capital to Canberra and Singapore, documents emerged showing the council had agreed to subsidise the service. ? Read more »

Air NZ rated number two in the world for safety behind Qantas

Seems Air New Zealand is doing well in the safety stakes…must be all those cringe-worthy inflight safety videos.

An annual survey of the world’s biggest airlines has seen Qantas named the world’s safest for the third year running.

The Australian carrier was praised for its “extraordinary fatality-free record in the jet era?, while Virgin Atlantic was the only UK airline to make it into the top 20.

In a separate ranking for low-cost airlines, two British carriers featured – Flybe and Thomas Cook.

The lists (see below for a full breakdown) were compiled byAirlineRatings.com, an independent plane safety and product rating website.

The website provided safety ratings for 407 airlines, awarding them up to seven stars for safety. Of those surveyed, 148 were given the top seven-star safety ranking but almost 50 had just three stars or less. ?? Read more »

Who wants to sit by an obese man ‘the size of an infant hippopotamus’?

"What weighs more than a Suzuki Swift, less than a Hummer and smells like the decaying anus of a deceased homeless man? No idea? How about, what measures food portions in kilograms and has the personal hygiene of a French prostitute? Still nothing? Right, one more try. What's fat as f***, stinks like shit and should be forced to purchase two seats on a Jetstar flight?"

“What weighs more than a Suzuki Swift, less than a Hummer and smells like the decaying anus of a deceased homeless man? No idea? How about, what measures food portions in kilograms and has the personal hygiene of a French prostitute? Still nothing? Right, one more try. What’s fat as f***, stinks like shit and should be forced to purchase two seats on a Jetstar flight?”

Every time I travel I sit on planes praying that the fatties coming down the aisle just keep on moving…I shudder to think about how some of them even manage to sit down, let alone use a tray table.

If they have to use a seat belt extension I think they are probably too large to travel. Have a thought about this poor bastard then.

As rage letters go, they don’t come much more furious than the epistle sent to an Australian airline by a passenger seated next to a man as big as ‘an infant hippopotamus’ and who smelled like ‘blue cheese’ and a ‘Mumbai slum’.

Traveller Rich Wisken wrote on a blog that he paid an extra $A25 (?13.50) for an exit row seat, expecting to travel from Perth to Sydney with more room than a normal economy seat.

But he found himself seated beside an obese man, leaving him to feel that he was pinned to his seat ‘by a fleshy boulder.’

When he tried to change seats, he found those that were empty were taken by passengers who had stretched themselves out to lie in comfort.

Mr Wisken returned to his exit row seat and ‘it was then I realised that my fate was sealed.

‘I made my way back to Jabba the Hutt (the blob creature in Star Wars) and spent the remainder of the flight smothered in side-boob and cellulite, taking shallow breaths to avoid noxious gas poisoning.’

It might be gathered by now that Mr Wisken was not at all happy with the four-and-a-half-hour flight and has penned a furious letter to the airline, Jetstar, a subsidiary of Qantas.

Of course it was Jetstar.

What made his ordeal worse was to find that two days later a flight to Melbourne he’d book with the airline was cancelled, as was a rescheduled flight.

On his third attempt, the flight was delayed for two hours.

On receiving his angry, but humorous, letter of complaint, Jetstar emailed him with an offer of a $A100 (?54) voucher in compensation, Sydney’s Daily Telegraph reports today.

‘Awesome work, Jetstar!’ he wrote.

‘Two of my flights in the past two days have been cancelled. You’re so lucky that my favourite pastime is wasting both time and money getting to and from airports.

‘Imagine how annoyed someone who doesn’t LOVE wasting time and money would feel about this situation. Man, I’d hate to be that guy…’

This is the start of his email to Jetstar.

Dear Jetstar…

Do you like riddles? I do, that’s why I’m starting this letter with one. What weighs more than a Suzuki Swift, less than a Hummer and smells like the decaying anus of a deceased homeless man? No idea? How about, what measures food portions in kilograms and has the personal hygiene of a French prostitute? Still nothing? Right, one more try. What’s fat as f***, stinks like shit and should be forced to purchase two seats on a Jetstar flight? That’s right, it’s the man I sat next to under on my flight from Perth to Sydney yesterday.

Fatty Fares, make them pay

Finally someone has stated the obvious. Make fatties pay per kilo with airfares.

IT may only have a slim chance of succeeding, but a pay-as-you-weigh airline pricing scheme has been suggested.

Heavier passengers would pay more for their plane tickets and lighter ones less under plans put forward by a Norwegian professor.

Writing in this month’s Journal of Revenue and Pricing Management publication, Dr Bharat P Bhatta said weight and space should be taken into account when airlines price their tickets.

Dr Bhatta, of the Sogn og Fjordane University College in Norway, has put forward three proposals.? Read more »

People are Stupid, Ctd

How many times do people have to get the bad news before they learn?

A cancelled Jetstar flight that could have destroyed the Christmas plans of 80 people travelling from Melbourne to Auckland has been rescheduled for the same day after the airline had a change of mind.

Jetstar cancelled one flight from Melbourne to Auckland on December 23, forcing passengers to rebook on another service, which meant they could have missed out on arriving in New Zealand in time for Christmas.

Passengers were informed of the move over the weekend, but now the airline is scrambling to contact them to let them know that another flight will replace their original flight, which remains cancelled.

Jetstar have an?exemplary?record of fucking their customers over, and over, and over again. ?Still, sufficient people are dense enough to book with them.

 

Cracks in Air New Zealand ATR planes

? Stuff.co.nz

Better safe than sorry, as Air new Zealand grounds the provincial air fleet for checks:

Air New Zealand passengers are expected to face more travel disruption tomorrow as the airline checks its fleet of ATR aircraft after hairline cracks were discovering on one of the planes.

The airline today cancelled the majority of ATR services operated by subsidiary Mount Cook Airlines after hairline cracks were found in the area around windows of the cockpit in one aircraft during routine overnight maintenance in Christchurch.

About 60 one-way services were cancelled today, affecting around 3000 customers.

Two ATR planes have already been returned to service on the airline’s Christchurch-Rotorua and Auckland-Palmerston North routes, Radio New Zealand reported.

Mount Cook Airline general manager Sarah Williamson said the airline would operate about two thirds of its normal seat capacity tomorrow with three of its 11 ATR planes in service and additional flights from other aircraft in the Air New Zealand fleet.

The airline expected to introduce more aircraft back into service later on Monday, she said.

Follow China’s lead

Now that the Westpac Farms formerly owned by the Crafar Family have been sold to Chinese interests, we can safely following China’s footsteps and tell the European countries imposing carbon taxes on airline to sod off. We can now claim to be doing it in the “spirit of cooperation” with our FTA partner:

China has banned its airlines from paying charges on carbon emissions imposed by the European Union.

The charges that took effect last month are aimed at curbing emissions of climate-changing gases but airlines say they are an improper tax. Dozens of countries including the US, China and Russia oppose them. New Zealand has also raised concerns.

The official Xinhua news agency quoted the Civil Aviation Administration of China as saying the airlines are not allowed to pay the tax or add other fees without government permission. The ratings agency Fitch warned in December that the conflict could spiral into a global trade dispute. The same month a European court rejected a lawsuit brought by US airlines.

Beijing could have unusually strong leverage in a possible dispute because its state-owned airlines carry large numbers of Chinese and other Asian tourists to Europe. Any disruption would hurt Europe’s travel industry when the continent is struggling with a debt crisis and high unemployment.

Air New Zealand is majority owned by the government, easy peasy. Mega brownies points on offer from our Chinese friends.

 

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