Bernard Caroline

Worse than Swine Flu and far more lethal

You probably think that the headline is a little over the top but it is true that a global pandemic far worse than Swine Flu in enveloping the world and the consequences are very, very lethal.

I am of course talking about Silly First Name Syndrome and loyal readers have been emailing cases to highlight the global pandemic of Silly First Name Syndrome.

Mike Tyson’s daughter has succumbed to Silly First Name Syndrome.

When I heard about the death of Mike Tyson’s four-year-old daughter, Exodus, who strangled on a treadmill cord, I got a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach. I have a 4 1/2 and a 2 1/2 year old, and before I learned the news, I had just made a phone call to get our treadmill put back together to be used in the basement. Now, I’m reconsidering.

This silly fool thinks it was the treadmill that killed. WRONG! it was her silly first name.

Police have stormed the Horowhenua Sailing Club to evict squatters who had lived in the club rooms for months.

But the squatters, some associated with the Nomads gang, were not phased by the trespass notices issued during Wednesday’s raid, and were outside the club house yesterday.

They said they were going to chain the gates shut at the Lake Horowhenua entrance and begin another occupation.

A woman, who did not want to be named, was outside the club rooms when police arrived on Wednesday.

“We were just surrounded by police … we were telling them to get the f*** off our land.

“They chucked everything off the top balcony.”

A power company cut off the electricity, which had been connected by the squatters.

The woman who didn’t want to be named apparently was Misty Nelson. Bad things happen to people with Silly First Names and the people around them.

It can strike in all sorts of places, including swanky hotels.

French police are searching for a British businessman after his girlfriend was found battered to death in their suite at Paris’s famous Hotel Bristol.

Ian Griffin, 39, from the London area, was said to have fled the hotel in a Porsche 911 after the naked body of his 36-year-old partner, Kinga Legg, was found in the bath.

Some in the mainstream media are also starting to notice. Veteran pinko Simon Cunliffe must have been reading this blog because he has written in the ODT about Silly First Name Syndrome. Apparently Simon Cunliffe was a Labour Government spin-doctor before joining the ODT (but from his writings, it is hard to tell that he has changed jobs).   He has a whine and food blog, as well as literary pretensions. Nevertheless he has noticed the increasing prevalence of Silly First Name Syndrome.

Just remember when your doctor informs you of the terrible toll that Swine Flu may visit upon the earth that a far more menacing illness is already killing and maiming. Also remember that it may not be you who is afflicted by Silly First Name Syndrome, but you could easily be affected by close contact with an afflicted person.

Suffer the Children

“But Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto Me: for of such is the Kingdom of Heaven.”
(Matthew 19:14)

And so another little child dies, but not from what the coroner says. One day coroners will recognise the importance of Silly First Name Syndrome.

The death of an eight-day-old baby girl reinforced the danger of parents taking a child to bed with them, Hastings coroner Chris Devonport says.

He found Te Uetuhiao Samantha Riki died of accidental asphyxiation as a result of sleeping in a single bed with her mother in their Hastings home last June, Hawke’s Bay Today reported.

I fear for these two

So far these two fine chaps seem to have escaped the ravages of Silly First Name Syndrome. However I fear that they will soon be over-taken by the ravages of the condition which all too often has permanent and tragic consequences.

Citizen and Wellington Tamatimu learned their love of the law from their father and watching TV legal dramas.

Now the 23-year-old twins – after help from a school mentoring programme – are celebrating becoming among the first in their family to graduate from university, gaining conjoint degrees in law and commerce.

They marched with 300 law graduates yesterday and were presented with their law degrees. Tomorrow they will receive their commerce degrees.

Well done to Citizen and Wellington, might I suggest that they don’t use their law degrees to practice criminal law.

Silly First Name Syndrome strikes big

hat tip Velofille

From Sideswipe, a litle bit about the tragic consequences of Silly First Name Syndrome.

Name Of The Year, a website that has an annual contest to determine the oddest name, has this year picked American footballer Barkevious Mingo, beating Velvet Milkman and Nutritious Love. Other finalists included Iris Macadangdang, Iona Knipl, Atilla Bucko, Taco Vandervelde and Crystal Metheny. But hard to beat was Wisconsin school teacher Marijuana Pepsi – her mother’s sociological experiment, unlike sisters Kimberly and Robin – and twins named Winner and Loser. Winner became a lifetime criminal and Loser a New York police detective.

When will people learn? When?

Dominican Republic looking to ban Silly First names

Finally! A sensible nation see the light.

The Domincan Republic is looking very seriously at banning Silly First names, obviously in a bid to halt the rapid spread of Silly First Name Syndrome and its disastrous consequences for its victims.

The Dominican Republic is considering a ban on unusual monikers following an increase in the number of names based on car brands, intimate body parts and other things.

The names range from the bizarre – “Dear Pineapple”, “Iloveyou Lover” – to the commercial – “Mazda Altagracia” and “Toshiba Fidelina.”

A judge with the Central Electoral Commission said such names should be rejected because they are confusing and give no indication of a person’s gender. Jose Angel Aquino recently submitted the proposal.

The commission is expected to consider it sometime this year.

Judge Aura Celeste Fernandez said Tuesday that officials should instead meet with parents and explain the consequences of such names.

As this blogger has noted the consequences can be fatal.

hat tip velofille

SFNS claims more victims

There is an article today in the Waikato Times about a family of three Benneydale siblings who were supposedly groomed for a life of crime and had a “horrendous and violent upbringing”.

I disagree. Two of the sibilings could have been saved if their parents hadn’t named their younger brother with his silly first name and thus doomed the others simply by their close proximity to him.

Three Benneydale siblings were groomed for a life of crime and had a “horrendous and violent upbringing”, a court has heard.

Judge Phillip Connell made the comments in the Te Kuiti District Court while sentencing Joshua Cloke, 25, sister Kelly Cloke, 24, and their younger brother, Chazas Cloke, 22, on burglary charges on Thursday.

The trio had earlier admitted the burglary of an industrial building in Te Kuiti last year, adding to an extensive list of convictions.

Kelly Cloke’s lawyer, Andrea Jones, said her client had a tumultuous background which, in turn, contributed to her impulsive behaviour.

If I was Kelly’s lawyer I’d be making the claim that her client was a normal person until the arrival of Chazas. From his arrival in the family ill-will has beset them and dogged them to the situation they now find themselves in.

Silly First Name Syndrome appears to have claimed this whole family.