Sex Bomb? Surely they jest

Last week I was the pin up boy, this week it is Helen Clark the “Sex Bomb”.

The young Helen Clark was once described as “a sex bomb” in black boots, according to a new unauthorised biography of the former prime minister.

Helen Clark, by Wellington journalist Denis Welch, says trade union leader Matt McCarten’s first memory of her was from the early 80s. “She was dressed all in black and had big black boots,” McCarten said.

Fellow unionist Laila Harre, later an Alliance Party cabinet minister in Clark’s first cabinet, recalled a 1985 party where young men were “salivating over Helen Clark and her boots”.

“McCarten: `She was a sex bomb!”‘

“Harre: `She was, actually from a left-wing point of view. We don’t have very high standards!”‘

I wonder what Rene thinks about that description?

Welch says Clark holds grudges. “She has the memory of an elephant, and never forgets a name, a face, or a grievance.”

She’s “a great gossip; she loves knowing stuff about people, especially members of the National Party. It’s not that she uses it viciously, she just likes the sense of power it brings her”, writes Welch.

“Though she disapproves of sexual shenanigans, she would never do someone down on the basis of salacious gossip: she’s a very moral, conservative person, a Waikato farm girl at heart.”

No of course she wouldn’t, she got Mallard and others to do her dirty work for her, perhaps on the promise of a session with the black boots.


Idiot Teachers fool with the Interweb

I have a friend in Wellington who has drawn a blank in dealing with her child’s school and her childs home room teacher in particular.

This eager bunny of  teacher has decided to publish a blog of her class complete with photos, and first names of the kids in the class. Quite apart from the awful formatting and the security implications of such a fool enterprise the school has failed to see the error of their ways.

The school won’t see reason from the many parents who have complained. Since it is all about who you know and not what you know it seems it has fallen to this blogger to educate in the cruelest way possible these dimwitted teachers as to the perils of the internet.

But first some emails;

From: FoW [Friend of Whaleoil]
Sent: Monday, 25 May 2009 8:48 a.m.
To: Fool [email protected]
Subject: Room8 – Blog

Morning Louise,

I support your decision to have a class blog, however being a Blog/ Website Designer myself, i would like to express the following Internet Safety concerns;

1. I do not believe any ‘individual and/ or named photos’ of any child, be present on this site

2. No Personal information to be posted about any Room8 student

3. What sort of ‘content’ guidelines, do you propose?

4. Does this Blog comply with the ERO policy?

5. How will you moderate the site comments and content?

6. The ‘h k cafe’ sidebar promotes playing, downloading and visiting several game sites that contain Malware

I look forward to your reply & thankyou in advance for your time

Not bad, friendly, not obstructive from mother of Child expressing concern.

From: Idiot Teacher [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Monday, 25 May 2009 1:03 p.m.
To: ‘FoW’
Cc: ‘Fool TeacherX’ [The Teacher]
Subject: RE: Room8 – Blog

Hi FoW,

Thank you for sharing your concerns. I will respond on behalf of Louise as I am the teacher in charge of IT.

1. We will not be posting any named individual photos of the children and will not be including any last names on the posts.
2. No personal information about the children will be posted – just samples of work we are doing and the occasional post from the children about school events.
3. As this is new to us we are just developing our content guidelines – if you have any suggestions we would love to hear from you.
4. The blogs as they are currently being set up and common throughout many schools with no issues to date.
5. Any comments that are posted on the site go straight to the teacher’s email address and then we choose if we want to publish them or not.
6. Regarding the “H K Café” side bar. I have to admit we don’t know that much about it. We thought we were taking all appropriate measures to ensure that a visitor wouldn’t be directed to inappropriate sites. It is an area that you may have more expertise then we do and would therefore appreciate any guidance that you can provide. If you could pop up to school and show me that would be even better.

Thanks again for your comments. If you are able to provide any advice or support to ensure that our blogs are successful we would really appreciate it.

Kind regards,

Idiot Teacher

Right, nice attempt to answer despite apparent lack of understanding of issues. Nice asking for help

From: FoW
Sent: Thursday, 28 May 2009 10:45 a.m.
To: ‘Idiot Teacher’
Subject: RE: Room8 – Blog

Hi Dana,

1. Great, however i suggest not even 1st names are posted either (in content nor images)… perhaps ‘our reading group’ (or similar generic) is significantly more acceptable for students of this age group.

2. Okay, however the students should post under a ‘generic’ blogger user such as ‘room8’ or by subject group perhaps? not their names

3. I would recommend that all content be as general and non child specific as you can, and always posted as a group effort

4. Yes, Blogs are common throughout schools, i look after a few, however i disagree with your ‘no issues to date’ comment

5. Agreed, the only way to truely Moderate comments on a blog

6. Just remove the sidebars, bit boring i know, but this inturn removes other website tracking, logging & potential spam of your Blog / email

The last thing i wish, is to appear as the Party Pooper… and am happy to donate my time and expertise in anything you need.

This is an excellent opportunity for you to do a module on Internet Bullying & Identity Protection…the unfortunate reality of true Internet usage. As what you teach them now will hopefully (yeah right, maybe, haha) prevent a few hassles in a year or two when they all want their own Blog on Facebook or Bebo.

Look forward to speaking with you further


Nice an polite response from mother suggesting some helpful tips.

From: Idiot Teacher [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Friday, 5 June 2009 11:22 a.m.
To: ‘FoW’
Subject: RE: Room8 – Blog

Hi FoW,

Thanks for the further advice. We were just curious about the other issues that schools were having, as we have not heard of any. Could you please let us know?



Well Duh! First indication that trouble lies ahead. how on earth can anyone not know about problems ont he internet with stalkers and kiddy fiddlers. Where have these idiots been, up Michael Jacksons arse?

from FoW
to Idiot Teacher <[email protected]>,
date Fri, Jul 10, 2009 at 1:19 PM
subject RE: Room8 – Blog

Good Morning Dana,

I have left my reply to this email, until i studied the Room8 Blog progress, as your last reply appeared to carry no real merit of true ICT comprehension.

It is MOST disturbing that you have indeed ignored ALL of general internet/blog protocol, for this age group …let alone the most serious consideration of all;
Children are named outright! Individually Photographed!

Sure No Surnames, but hey …Yay! to Caleb, or how about the class clown who has a monogrammed beanie on, Rhys is running so fast that his hair is blowing in the wind! need i go further? Predators Paradise!

I now formally request the Blog to be removed even disabled, until a parent/ principal conference of Room8 be called, or you actually take advice onboard

Other parents are in support of this email, also included in the BCC of this email is one of the most influential bloggers in the country

Thankyou in advance & i look forward to our meeting

Patience has run out. The handy suggestions have been ignored and even after the subtle threat to bring it to the attention of the country’s most notorious blogger they still ahven’t changed the site.

Welcome, Teachers of Pauatahanui Primary School to a lesson in how to draw attention to yourself on the internet in a really bad way.

There is more to come on this. We will keep you posted.

Most companies use a customer service department, Jetstar uses the police

Jetstar just can’t get its act together. Their communications staff are simply idiots.

Turbulence continues to dog Jetstar’s fledgling New Zealand operation, with police called to check-ins as passengers become aggressive about delays.

The Qantas subsidiary is also understood to be regularly dishing out $25 meal vouchers for delayed passengers and last weekend paid for hotels for passengers in Auckland, Christchurch and Wellington as bad weather halted flights.

But Jetstar spokesman Simon Westaway insisted the airline cared about its passengers.

The Sunday Star-Times understands police were called to Jetstar’s counters at Christchurch Airport last weekend after passengers became aggressive over delays.

Police and airline staff diffused the situation and no arrests were made. A similar situation also occurred at the airline’s Auckland Airport check-in.

Right so where other airlines use custoer service personnel to sort out issues, Jetstar uses the Police. Even better their communication fool says that this is “caring about its passengers”.

Holy shit, if that is caring about their passengers I’d hate to see what happens when they don’t care. Riot Police? Special Branch? Water Boarding?



Hounding the Liberal Elite

Bill Ralston gets into the liberal elite masquerading as directors of State Owned Enterprises after Mark Weldon gave them a ticking off.

By the way I note Weldon also slammed SOE boards as being largely comprised of ex-politicians who pump too much money into sponsoring flash openings of events that are aimed solely at the Wellington cultural elite. This is done at the expense of the wider community and SOE’s should redirect that spend back into regional communities.

I am not a founding member of the Mark Weldon fan club but if he keeps on dishing out good sense like that, I may well sign up.

I’m with Bill here, I’m no fan of Weldon but he is dead right, the liberal elite are swanning around getting subsidised for their leisure activities at vast expense.

How about giving to charities that actually contribute positively to the community, because they try to, not play silly instruments or prance around on a stage. That doesn’t contribute to society, no matter how much the liberal elite say how important culture is.

Charities like;




It is a shame we don’t have a socially responsible SOE sector.



Richard Long goes Turkey Shooting

Richard Long goes on a turkey hunt against the gobblers of the left moaing about Crushers Container Prisons or Crim Tins as I like to call them. He has no shortage of targets with them all gobbling away begging to be shot at.

Why only two to a cell? When that suggestion replaced the blackboard menu outside a cafe in Ngaio, Wellington, a few months ago, it was clear the Government had won the “lock them up and throw away the key” argument.

Ngaio is one of those Labour- voting leafy suburbs, adjoining Wadestown, home of the chardonnay socialists. If the liberals cannot win the penal debate in these areas, then they have lost it completely.

Accordingly, when former Labour Party president Mike Williams was complaining on television at the weekend about the dangers of prison double- bunking, and described the new modular container prison cells as “Dickensian”, he was baying, so to speak, into the wind.

What on earth was Mike Williams asked for anyway? More importantly where is the current Labour President…hasn’t he just disappeared?

So was penal reformer Peter Williams when he fronted up on prime-time television against Corrections Minister Judith Collins. She has always been regarded as a bit of a shrieker, but she sat calmly, with a wan smile, while Peter Williams went completely over the top on the evil, degrading container cells proposal, predicting it would all end in failure and tears.

Out of touch, and out to lunch while we enjoy the turkey club sandwiches.

The critics lose touch with the electorate on this. They leave the impression that, even if Corrections offered to house their clients in the Holiday Inn and the Intercontinental, Messrs Williams and Williams would still find fault with the wine list.

The overall electorate view is that prisoners have it sweet. While many financially stretched households are turning off the heaters and curbing food bills, they view prisoners as having an easy life, in centrally heated accommodation, with three good meals a day.

Many will no doubt reason that, if more prisoners have to double-bunk, it might be a rather big disincentive to going to jail in the first place. The prospect of sharing your cell with a nasty piece of low life might help slow the escalation in the prison population – estimated to climb from the present 8300 to 12,500 by 2018.

Exactly, nothing would encourage me more to obey the law than the thoughts of sharing a 6m square cell with a 200kg prisoner named Bubba.

As for the container cells, taxpayers will welcome the cost reductions. At $248 a day, it costs as much to accommodate prisoners in our Corrections system as it would to put them up in a good hotel. The cost of the Spring Hill facility was a staggering $643,000 a bed. Plugging in the container cells to existing prison facilities with the infrastructure to support additional inmates will cost only $53,000 to $63,000 a bed.

AN ADVANTAGE of moving in this direction at the moment, with the world economic downturn, is that ports are littered with excess containers. And it was a brilliant touch to suggest that prisoners could learn rehabilitation skills by helping to adapt the containers for their own use.

Corrections chief Barry Matthews won further points when he was asked what prisoners thought of the container proposal. “I’m not interested in what the prisoners think,” he said.

Finally someone in the media gets the numbers right, rather than simply repeating the numbers that Clayton Cosgrove reefed out of is arse. On Barry Mtthews, he certainly needed some points as he was certainly plumbing the depths of low scores until he saw the light and endorsed Crusher’s thoughts. I think he must have felt the cold steely stare of the Minister for longer than he cared to and has now had a subsequent attitude adjustment.

By harping on about “Dickensian” prison conditions, Labour is managing to leave the impression that it wants to indulge prisoners with spa pools and feather pillows. It would be a better political tactic to concentrate on more effective rehabilitation programmes in a bid to reduce our awful recidivism rate of about 70 per cent.

Oh they do, they do, heated floors, Plasma TV’s….that is prisons under Labour. I and the electorate by the looks of it prefer Crushers vision for our prisons.

Meet the world's ugliest dogs

Helen ClarkStuff has an article about the worlds ugliest dogs.

A prominent under-bite, scrunched face and floppy ears are the hallmarks of a winner – the winner of the World’s Ugliest Dog contest, that is.

Pabst, a boxer-mix rescued from a shelter by Miles Egstad of Citrus Heights, California, won the annual contest at the Sonoma-Marin Fair in Northern California.

I reckon they missed some out of the line up

This one from New York

This one from Auckland

This one from the Waikato

This one from Wellington

and this one also from Wellington

They all have faces you can break bottles on and you certainly wouldn’t wish breeding traits that that on anyone let alone your dog.

Plane chocka, Jetstar lying

Just spoke to Sonny Shaw, he is an All Blacks fan and travels to every match, as well as every Black Caps match and is a very seasoned traveller. He was also one of the few that got onto the Jetstar flight to Wellington.

He made it onto the plane and was willing to speak to the media because he reckons the people left outside got a raw deal. He stated to me that Jetstar started boarding the plane early at 3.01pm, he was surprised and quickly went through security and boarded. While he sitting their they annouced over the plane intercom that the flight was “very full”, overhead lockers full, and so could people please store things under their seat. He flight was so full that it left 20 minutes late. He did not see ANY empty seats on the plane, which would strongly suggest it was overbooked. The last person who boarded did so at 4:01pm. He suggests that if you look at the manifest that it would probably show a full plane, or at least a plane which would not have enough room to fit the stranded jetstar passengers.

Sonny also told me that he is travelling with Jetstar next week and they have already changed his flight details and schedule twice. He is currently re-evaluating his trip. Another person with whom he works was planning a wedding in Queenstown and has had their flights rescheduled more than 8 times.

There is seriously something wrong at Jetstar and they also seem unable to tell the truth. Time for the Commerce Commission to get involved I think.

#Jetstar FAIL! – Fisking Jetstar

Michael Earley has conveniently supplied me and others with a fisking of Jetstar’s response to their abysmal service thus far. Notye to Jetstar, don’t piss off people who know how to effectively use social media and are friends with nasty bloggers.

Over the past 4 days, Jetstar has had multiple opportunities to come clean in the media.  At every opportunity Jetstar’s Australian PR office has lied to the NZ Media about what happened in the vain hope that the story would not blow over.

This incident could have been fixed had your staff behaved appropriately and within the terms and conditions as outlined on the Jetstar website.  It did not help that your staff attempted to get my property confiscated, prevented me from leaving the building, called the police and security on us, and to top it off – your staff member “Alfred” (he was attempting to hide his name badge from view) even challenged us to go to the media.

So far your PR team have lied at every opportunity – and have been caught out at every opportunity:

Jetstar Comment: “but the airline says they were eight minutes late – arriving 22 minutes before departure time.”
Source: http://www.nzherald.co.nz/business/news/article.cfm?c_id=3&objectid=10580230

Our Comment: we were at the airport at approximately 3:05pm, and I received a phone call at 3:14pm from a friend in Australia that I had to drop due to your staff refusing to serve us, 18 minutes before you first claim that we were even in the airport. I am happy to provide Vodafone records that will back this up.

Jetstar Comment: “Cann says Jetstar carries out two mandatory PA announcements advising the check in is shutting. “
Source: http://www.nzherald.co.nz/business/news/article.cfm?c_id=3&objectid=10580230

Our Comment: These announcements were not made until we informed your staff member (Alfred).  He then proceeded to announce that the checkins were closed while we were at his counter.

Jetstar Comment: “She says Jetstar also closes its check-in barriers and moves any passengers in a queue on a closing flight forward.”
Source: http://www.nzherald.co.nz/business/news/article.cfm?c_id=3&objectid=10580230
Our Comment: No barriers were closed, and the only passenger who was moved was a middle aged man in a blue jacket with full beard, who was directly behind me in the Queue.  He was checked in but we were not, even though we were shouting ‘we are going to Wellington too!’

Jetstar Comment: “Jetstar spokeswoman Simone Pregellio said staff told her that when they closed for check-ins there were no other Wellington-bound passengers visible “in the vicinity”.”
Source: http://www.stuff.co.nz/travel/2524842/Travellers-stranded-by-check-in-rule

Our Comment: We were at the front of the line, making it very clear that we we were going to Wellington, as were numerous other passengers behind us.

Jetstar Comment: “Ms Pregellio said staff had been verbally abused and felt threatened enough to call airport security.”
Source: http://www.stuff.co.nz/travel/2524842/Travellers-stranded-by-check-in-rule

Our Comment: No passengers threatened Jetstar staff, but Jetstar staff did behave inappropriately.  A Blonde staff member in black jacked tryed to force me to give up my cell phone, and an island woman in an orange jacket attempted to physically block me from exiting the building untill I informed her if she touched me I would press charges.

Jetstar Comment: “Jetstar spokeswoman Simone Pregellio acknowledged having issued incorrect information initially about how late the passengers arrived, but insisted they were all too late.

Although she told the Herald on Sunday they arrived 22 minutes late, and eight minutes before departure time, she said yesterday she had incorrectly transposed the figures.

That meant the passengers arrived eight minutes late, and 22 minutes before departure.”
Source: http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=10580182

Our Comment: I was already on the phone to the media, earlier than Simone Claims we were even in the building.  She is clearly lying.

Jetstar Comment: “Jetstar corporate communications manager Simone Pregellio said the first contact anyone had with the stranded passengers was eight minutes before the plane was to take off.”
Source: http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=10579751

Our Comment: We were in the airport at 3:05pm.  I have phone logs at 3:14pm which is 26 minutes prior to the plane taking off.  Simone is lying.

Jetstar Comment: “She said a service announcement was made saying the flight was due to close and no passengers made themselves known.”
Source: http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=10579751

Our Comment: No Service Announcement was made, and we were at the front of the queue making it VERY clear where we are going. Simone is lying.

Jetstar Comment: “The manager did a “queue comb”, asking if anyone in line was waiting for the Wellington flight.”
Source:  http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=10579751

Our Comment: This is actually correct, the Manager did go through the queue and chose to check in the Middle aged male behind us.  He later denied it.

Jetstar Comment: “”They did not identify anyone else. When they determined there was no one else they closed the flight,” she said.”
Source: http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=10579751

Our Comment: Again false, as per earlier comments, security camera footage will confirm this. 

Jetstar Comment: “But Pregellio was adamant staff made “every effort when the flight was closing to see if anyone else was there.We’re in the business of carrying people and we want people to make every one of our flights.””
Source: http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=10579751&pnum=2

Our Comment: Jetstar made no effort whatsoever to do so, we were clearly telling staff we were on the flight and they deliberately ignored us.

Jetstar Comment: “The airline says it is standard practice and staff tried to find anyone still queuing at check-in.”
Source: http://www.3news.co.nz/Kiwis-struggle-with-Jetstars-tough-check-in-policy/tabid/423/articleID/109585/cat/64/Default.aspx

Our Comment: as per our comments above, Jetstar made no such effort

Jetstar Comment: “A Jetstar spokesperson says the group arrived much too late to board the flight.”
Source: http://www.radionz.co.nz/news/stories/2009/06/21/1245b656bc74

Our Comment: as per comments above, incorrect, refer to security footage and timing of media phone calls.

Jetstar Comment: “Jetstar spokesman Simon Westaway said that during boarding of Saturday’s 3.40pm Auckland-Wellington flight “a number of people arrived 22 minutes after the scheduled close-out of the flight”.”
Source: http://www.stuff.co.nz/national/2522882/Jetstar-unrepentant-about-leaving-rugby-fans-behind

Our Comment: Again this has proved to be false, Jetstar have revised their timing but it is still incorrect.

Jetstar Comment: “As long as passengers were in the check-in queue 30 minutes prior to the flight departure time, they would be processed and allowed to board, he told Radio New Zealand.”
Source: http://www.stuff.co.nz/national/2522882/Jetstar-unrepentant-about-leaving-rugby-fans-behind
Source: http://www.radionz.co.nz/news/stories/2009/06/22/1245b6641526

Our Comment: We were in the queue 35 minutes prior to departure time. We were not processed or allowed to board

Jetstar Comment: “Mr Westaway said Jetstar made public calls warning a flight was about to close and undertook “queue combing” looking for any remaining passengers still in the queue.”
Source: http://www.stuff.co.nz/national/2522882/Jetstar-unrepentant-about-leaving-rugby-fans-behind
Source: http://www.radionz.co.nz/news/stories/2009/06/22/1245b6641526

Our Comment: No such call was made untill after we made it to check in and Alfred told us the desk was closed. He then made the call after we mentioned no announcemnet was made. Again Jetstar lying.

Our expectations – none of these are unfair or unrealistic:

  • Jetstar release the security camera footage to the media
  • Jetstar admit that their staff did not follow proceedure
  • Jetstar PR admit that they have lied about the incident to the media on multiple occasions
  • Jetstar offer all affected passengers full refunds
  • Jetstar offer compensation to all those for actual costs incurred (i.e. additional flights rebooked, accomdation required, loss of income etc)
  • Jetstar staff apologise for lying to the media
  • Jetstar staff apologise for refusing to serve paying customers
  • Jetstar staff apologise for acting in appropriately towards customers (i.e. trying to get phone confiscated, refusing to let members of public leave buidling etc).

That is a fairly comprehesive destruction of the pathetic PR job Jetstar has done. my advice to them would be to STFU and start hiring people who are effective with Social Media, blogging and Twitter to start mitigating your PR disaster.

There's one in every town

From the Clown of Campbell’s Bay to the Wally of Wellington City…. there’s one in every town.

A trespass notice has been issued to a Wellington City councillor who turned up to a meeting despite being banned.

The Wellington City Council voted unanimously to bar Councillor Rob Goulden yesterday, after a series of disruptions culminating when he hurled abuse at other councillors and stormed out.

He sat in the public gallery this afternoon, and refused to leave when asked.

CEO Gary Poole then called police before reading out a trespass notice.

I don’t feel so bad about North Shore now.


Whispers around Wellington

Yesterday Clare Curran twittered that she was looking forward to grilling Simon Power at the select committee. The word has it that the grilling was hardly more than a warming in front of a one bar heater and easily batted away. The feeling is that Clare Curran was using the select committee to astound everyone with the depth of her knowledge on the subject at hand and Simon Power obligingly de-powered her grilling by blowing smoke up her ass.

Also in the select committee rooms Lianne Dalziel denied two things. First that she does not read Whaleoil.co.nz, yes she mentioned it in the select committee and second that she “won’t be standing for the Christchurch mayoralty…..this term”. It seems the other MP’s do though because they were good naturedly teasing Lianne about her pending non-announcement.

More stories from the depths of Wellington will be posted as they come to hand via the Tipline.