Michael Jackson

Origins of the Moon Walk

A letter to David Shearer from a WO reader

A reader writes to David Shearer. I was going to froward it one but I thought I should share it, because it has a great deal of truth to it.

Dear Cameron,

This letter is from and absolute NATIONAL supporter – I don’t know if you pass on?commiserations, but if you do, here goes. (Thanks)

I know we have all joked about David Shearer through his time as leader of the Opposition, but?in all good heart I feel sad that he had been so badly let down by his caucus.? Read more »

Australian man in court for shagging ‘Michael Jackson’

First the shark, now the pig, always seems to be the animal?s fault, no matter what the humans do.

Michael Jackson. The other white meat.

A man appears in an Australian court on charges relating to his alleged sexual intercourse with a pet pig called Michael Jackson.

The 35-year-old man appeared in the Darwin Magistrates Court today on the charges of having sexual intercourse with an animal and indecent behaviour in public.? Read more »

Tagged:

So did you hear that…

….Michael Jackson was bitterly disappointed when he heard that Steven Gately was coming to heaven.

He thought? they said that someone was coming from a Boy’s Home.

Does Pork Chop have Swine Flu?

Pork Chop has Swine FluA little birdy has contacted the tipline and told me that Pork Chop has Swine Flu.

The little birdy told me that Pork Chop herself had told them she has the killer virus.

I wonder how that is going to affect the brain tumor she has told everyone she has?

No wonder too that she looked more shit than usual on Wednesday at Yum Char with Gilda K.

Note to Gilda’s boyfirends, no snogging she shared a trough with Pork Chop and probably has Swine Flu too.

Bastareaud is a lying bastard

Mathieu Bastareaud, the French Player who claimed he got attacked has admitted to making the story up and in fact, was blind drunk, fell over a table in his hotel room, and hurt his cheekbone.

There are two points I wish to make.

Firstly, the police should have picked up on the fact that Bastareaud’s three wtinesses to the attack were Jim Beam, Johnny Walker and Jack Daniels.

Secondly, the NZRU should interview the table on how to tackle French rugby players.

As an aside I was drinking (yes it hurts) last night with some friends in Wellington and the dirty little secret about all this was supposedly it was gay gang-bang gone wrong. Perhaps Bast-bang-bang wouldn’t swallow and so copped a facial.

Liar, Liar, XXXL pants on fire

Pork Chop aka Rachel Glucina is known to tell Pork Pies as well as eating them. NBR’s Hazel Phillips has written about Pork Chop’s lies regarding a job offer at Sunday Star Times. Seems it is all a figment of Pork Chop’s imagination like her brain tumour op at Christmas.

I too have recevied the email from the Sunday Star Times Deputy Editor which proves Pork Chop’s lies.

From: Miriyana Alexander
Date: 11 June 2009 2:30:10 PM
To:
Subject: RE: AT ending

Hi

What I wanted to tell you is that I’ve been overseas and came back to catch up with what Rachel Glucina has been saying in my absence.

I wanted to put the record straight and tell you exactly what happened, as the version she is peddling is not correct. You may well be beyond caring (and let’s face it, this saga seems to have got ridiculously out of proportion), but suffice to say that at no point did we put an offer on the table to her.

Hope you’re well.

Best. Miri.

Miriyana Alexander Deputy Editor | Sunday Star-Times

Whoopsy….just as well she keeps telling lies other wise her nose would disappear into her cheeks. Some wag commented the other day at Back Benchers that the only reason Pork Chop went to Sydney in an A380 was because it is the only plane big enough to carry her carcass.

Worth-less stories

Police probe into Worth claim spans two citiesOfficers in Auckland and Wellington are continuing to investigate a complaint against National MP Richard Worth, police said this afternoon. The person who complained to the police about the former government minister is an Auckland… [NZ Herald Politics]

This Richard Worth saga is getting a bit silly now. Especially the silly cow that thought Phil Goff would protect her from the preying silly old goat that is Richard Worth. That story stinks almost more than Winston’s stale old scampi sandwiches.

Still Richard Worth has been touting for roots with any woman below the age of 60 and breathing and wearing a skirt. His modus operandi is clearly jobs for jobs. Silly old goat. He should just resign and disappear in ignominy.

Perhaps the funniest story though, is the mad ravings of Pork Chop aka Rachel Glucina. She oinks from her blog;

Richard Worth never offered me a job. Not a sniffle of a vocation prospect. Not a shout out to come swimming. Nor a late-night phone call, or a dirty text message. He wasn’t sporting a welcome home banner at the airport from those long MTV parties I attended overseas. Hell, I never even felt his squinty eyes mentally undress me when I saw him at the many, many social functions at which our paths crossed.

There is more than one reason for Richard Worth never hitting on you. It defies belief that Pork Chop thinks anyone would be surprised by that. I dont think any man would hit on her…except perhaps the head of the Pork Board.

For a start she’s too fat for even Worth to bother, then there is the psoriasis, the scabs and the constant stuffing of food into the yawning maw of a mouth. She only posted her blog post because she is pissed off and jealous that Richard Worth sought quality PR from Malcolm Boyle and Cedric Allen at Star PR and not taudry glitteratti pap from Pink PR. With a name like Pink PR you’d think they only represent tired old homos masquerading as men about the town……oh wait!

@JonoMilne @PatrickCrewdson EPIC FAIL, dust off your CV's fellas

Jono Milne has been keen on Twitter. He is the driver behind a few articles about  Twitter and has been trying to get the people behind the fake MP Twitter accounts to reveal themselves. I was told this in an anonymous email that had screenshots of his and his off-sider also threatening lawyers.

Anyhow, Barnsley Bill has noticed a particularly sick Tweet this sap has posted. He also helpfully grabbed a screenshot. This will add to the mounting embarrasment at Herald on Sunday after Pork Chop aka Rachel Glucina was found to have published a story complete with photos about Donna Awatere-Huata, the only problem was the photo wasn’t Donna. In that same issue with the fake photo she also made out that she was at the MTV Awards but mysteriously was never sighted anywhere for the entire time.

He flicks a tweet at Patrick Crewdson from the DomPost about his callous disregard for a grieving widow and promoting Trademe (which Fairfax owns), yet immediately below he says this;

is appalled at the boy-racer crash on the North Shore. These kids just get together and get legless …

The story it relates to;

Teenage girl loses leg after street race crash

Nasty…..this is the sort of thing I would do and say not some journalist.

These two are a prize bunch of c**ts. Tweet them both and let them know what you think.

Jono Milne and patrick Credson Epic Fail

 

I Spy with my little eye, I see a Pig telling a lie

Pork Chop is a liarWhile Pork Chop aka Rachel Glucina may be all upset about someone setting up a fake Twitter account and using the HoS lawyers to try, vainly, to heavy Twitter they should perhaps get the lawyers to look a little closer to home at their columnist and her two little lies in this weeks column.

Whaleoil’s spies scoured the MTV awards looking for the piece of pork we like to call Pork Chop and she was nowhere – as in NO WHERE. They walked the red carpet for an hour, worked the entire NZ media area – of which they had names and locations of who was to be where and she was NO WHERE. When they were put in what is called a holding area and taken to an area deemed the ‘glamour pit’ for VIPS and media for the actual awards ceremony. Once again NO WHERE.

My snitches swear they were sober the whole night and specifically on the lookout for her, and lets face it an arse the size of hers is a very difficult thing to hide. They even had a dog team out looking for her, like a whole crew of Jake the Muss’ going pig hunting.

Our spies even stayed till all hours at the after party, hung out with all the kiwis and NO WHERE. The kiwi crew were asked rather pointedly “is that fat c**t here?” No, they said she wasn’t. Our WOBH team circulated and circulated looking for that thing and it was NO WHERE.

Where was the missing pig? Why has Pork Chop written not one but two pieces about flying on Air New Zealand to the show and about the show when after exstensive investigations it apears she stayed in the hotel room and destroyed the room service menu?

While we are talking of making shit up, Spy also had a full page “scoop” of the new look Donna Awatere-Huata….WRONG! It isn’t. The photo is of some slapper who works in the homo clothes shop called Masons at 179 Ponsonby Road. If Pork Chop had bothered to even try to find out some details she would have known this and known too that her name is something silly as well, therefore qualifying her to claim Silly First name Syndrome. Her first name is unpronoucable and would score big in Scrabble.

Plus there are the obvious things that no amount of Plastic Surgery can hide, the hands, the legs, and the wattle….you know the wobbly bit on the neck that turkey’s have. The hands are those of a younger woman and no 60 year old woman could possibly have legs looking like after she was as big as she used to be. Pork Chop has got it so wrong she should be sued.

This weeks Spy is an EPIC FAIL! Based almost entirely on falsehood. Certainly the two full page articles about the MTV awards and Donna Awatere-Huata are entirely a fiction dreamed up from Pork Chops mind. Our spies tell us she wasn’t in attendence at the MTV awards despite availing herself of paid for flights and accommodation and she has got it dead wrong on the identity of the capsicum shopper in Ponsonby.

The HoS lawyers will be praying hard come Monday morning. It is time for someone to take The HoS to task for supporting this blatent liar. I’d start with the photo they use of her and then move onto the “making shit up” allegations. Pork Chop’s taudry rag has become a liability.

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