Really Truly Helen Gallery

Crow's illegally-parked billboard not towed for three days

Crow's illegally-parked billboard not towed for three daysControversial mayoral candidate Steve Crow left a truck laden with a campaign billboard on Queen St without putting money in the parking meter for at least two days.
But the tow trucks were called only after the Auckland City Council…
[Auckland News]

Mayoral candidates seem to think breaking by-laws and electoral laws is just fine by them. Hubbard has been officially warned, why he isn't being prosecuted is beyond me, perhaps it is because the police are inept. Crow has brokenn two by-laws, first parking across three spaces and not putting anything in the meter for two days, secondly the stupid billboard by-laws. Actually good on him for breaching the stupid billboard by-laws.?

Steve Crow on Firearms charges

Porn baron faces trial on firearm charges – New Zealand news on

Steve Crow is to go to court to face firearms charges and despite his protestations I don’t like his chances.

He was firing pistols which are a Class “B” restricted weapon. One can only have a licence to use pistols if they belong to a registered pistol clib, attend the club tweleve times a year and here is the kicker for Crow, you are only allowed to carry pistol to and from your place of residence only to a registered gunsmith, or a licenced pistol range.

A mates farm doesn’t cut it. He will lose this case.

Gee, I bet Julie and Crazy Chris a more than a little surprised by this little gem emerging. One wonders what the matrons at the local Anglican Church will think about Julie’s choice of ticket.

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1Auckland all over the place like a mad womans' poo

Michael Earley: NZHerald: “Your Views: Are councils spending too much of your money?”

Commendable though it is that guys like Mike and Blair have decided to be cajoled by Crazy Chris into standing for his new pulled out of his and Julie’s arse “ticket” and put their names forward for council there are some inconsistancies creeping into their [cough] message.

First up, Mike E, has explained some of’s policies and thoughtfully linked to their website, except well it isn’t there. Also it isn’t their name, their name is, which also isn’t up. Clearly Chris thinks he will win the case against them so has registered just in case. There seems to be case of political schizophrenia happening here.

Still it is a little bizarre that the “ticket” doesn’t have a site and neither does their leader and guru Steve Crow, unless you count a photo of his bald mug as a site.

In line with Steve’s motto “Telling you as it is” here is a little story about the thought processes involved with these guys. They talk big and act small.

I had lunch one with Chris Diack who spent the entire time telling how fucking marvelous he was. He even gloated to me that if it wasn’t for him and his ticket (that was Auckland Now back then) then the Centre Right vote wouldn’t have been split. It was at this point that I realised that Chris Diack was like most Labour converts to ACT, slightly mad and always spoiling for a fight, any fight, just so long as they were fighting. I retorted to Chris at the time, “So you are the one responsible for Dick Hubbard, that was a brilliant fucking plan that was, I know I’ll teach the Centre-Right a lesson, we’ll split the vote and let Hubbard and City Vision in, just fucking brilliant”. Lunch ended shortly after that.

Once again Chris has thrown a hissy fit and stormed out of Citizens and Ratepayers all on the pretense that his friend Julie wasn’t selected. That would be the Julie who didn’t pay her membership, and the Julie who went running to the press whining about it all despite signing binding documents to say she wouldn’t.

Unfortunately for Blair and Mike, earnest though they are, they will get nowhere, because essentially the “ticket” is hollow and based entirely around the ego’s of Steve Crow and Chris Diack. At least Steve runs a successful business and doesn’t still live with his mum and dad. They have been conned into standing for something that has no history, no plans and no ideas.

Citizens and Ratepayers are mightily glad that this little band of fools who talked big but acted small have flown the coop. They won’t be welcomed back.

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Looks like "The Gluc" reads Whaleoil

Meanwhile Julie Chambers must be having kittens about her silly plan to jump in with Steve Crow.

Just in case you have all forgotten what the Gluc is talking about here it is;

BTW is still looking a little limp, ie not up!

So who is 1Auckland?

Given that Steve Crow is an "executive director" of the new ticket, it' probable Crow is putting some financial resources in behind them.

After all, he already controls the 1Auckland website domain name through his company Vixen. So if the proceeds of porn are
contributing to this new local government ticket, what sort of adult movies are they exactly?

  • Ripe – the pregant porn star giving birth
  • Trombone Blown – something about the 'rusty trombone ' (I had to look it up, and I'm shocked!) which boasts on the cover "100% asslicking"
  • Dripping wet pink (Volume 3) – you know it's quality porn when there are two sequels.
  • Space Nuts special edition – which appears to have a plot. "Led by the Evil Overlord and the Dark Witch, an ominous shadow has swept acorss the universe, destroying countless planets in its wake. The Clitoran System, one of the last remaining independent realms, may yet fall, for the Evil Overlord's shyster…" Oh please.

Here's a prediction, the 1Auckland clowns are going to have a hard (oops excuse the pun) time being taken seriously.