Shane McGowan

Liar, Liar, XXXL pants on fire

Pork Chop aka Rachel Glucina is known to tell Pork Pies as well as eating them. NBR’s Hazel Phillips has written about Pork Chop’s lies regarding a job offer at Sunday Star Times. Seems it is all a figment of Pork Chop’s imagination like her brain tumour op at Christmas.

I too have recevied the email from the Sunday Star Times Deputy Editor which proves Pork Chop’s lies.

From: Miriyana Alexander
Date: 11 June 2009 2:30:10 PM
Subject: RE: AT ending


What I wanted to tell you is that I’ve been overseas and came back to catch up with what Rachel Glucina has been saying in my absence.

I wanted to put the record straight and tell you exactly what happened, as the version she is peddling is not correct. You may well be beyond caring (and let’s face it, this saga seems to have got ridiculously out of proportion), but suffice to say that at no point did we put an offer on the table to her.

Hope you’re well.

Best. Miri.

Miriyana Alexander Deputy Editor | Sunday Star-Times

Whoopsy….just as well she keeps telling lies other wise her nose would disappear into her cheeks. Some wag commented the other day at Back Benchers that the only reason Pork Chop went to Sydney in an A380 was because it is the only plane big enough to carry her carcass.

Worth-less stories

Police probe into Worth claim spans two citiesOfficers in Auckland and Wellington are continuing to investigate a complaint against National MP Richard Worth, police said this afternoon. The person who complained to the police about the former government minister is an Auckland… [NZ Herald Politics]

This Richard Worth saga is getting a bit silly now. Especially the silly cow that thought Phil Goff would protect her from the preying silly old goat that is Richard Worth. That story stinks almost more than Winston’s stale old scampi sandwiches.

Still Richard Worth has been touting for roots with any woman below the age of 60 and breathing and wearing a skirt. His modus operandi is clearly jobs for jobs. Silly old goat. He should just resign and disappear in ignominy.

Perhaps the funniest story though, is the mad ravings of Pork Chop aka Rachel Glucina. She oinks from her blog;

Richard Worth never offered me a job. Not a sniffle of a vocation prospect. Not a shout out to come swimming. Nor a late-night phone call, or a dirty text message. He wasn’t sporting a welcome home banner at the airport from those long MTV parties I attended overseas. Hell, I never even felt his squinty eyes mentally undress me when I saw him at the many, many social functions at which our paths crossed.

There is more than one reason for Richard Worth never hitting on you. It defies belief that Pork Chop thinks anyone would be surprised by that. I dont think any man would hit on her…except perhaps the head of the Pork Board.

For a start she’s too fat for even Worth to bother, then there is the psoriasis, the scabs and the constant stuffing of food into the yawning maw of a mouth. She only posted her blog post because she is pissed off and jealous that Richard Worth sought quality PR from Malcolm Boyle and Cedric Allen at Star PR and not taudry glitteratti pap from Pink PR. With a name like Pink PR you’d think they only represent tired old homos masquerading as men about the town……oh wait!

Chop Chop for Pork Chop

Chop Chop for Pork ChopNBR won’t publish it but Whaleoil will.(Click for larger version)

I knew this was going to blow up in the bitch’s face so I took the liberty of a screen shot of her blog post labelling Ponsonby local and retail assistant Kwija Kim as Donna Awatere-Huata.

There are two egregious errors on this page. Firstly is Pork Chop’s photo, she hasn’t looked like that forever, to continue to exhibit such blatent photo-manipulation surely must be a breach of the sale of goods act.

The second error is that the photo supplied is purported to be that of convicted fraudster Donna Awatere-Huata but is in actuality Ponsonby local and retail assistant Kwija Kim.

And it isn’t like Pork Chop can claim this was a simple mistake. She/the paper actually phone Awatere-Huata who denied it was her in the first place. But oh no they went right ahead and printed anyway.

I think it is time for a Press Council complaint about Pork Chop. Though you could hardly call her a journalist as she interviews her keyboard all too often. This, though, isn’t a simple case of plagiarism which the Herald pilloried that Irish tart over, it is a bona-fide case of making shit up and it wasn’t even April the First so she can’t use that excuse. making shit up is a sackable offense and one action that the Herald should take in order to maintain some semblence of professional integrity. They sacked John Manukia, they should sack Rachel Glucina.

I Spy with my little eye, I see a Pig telling a lie

Pork Chop is a liarWhile Pork Chop aka Rachel Glucina may be all upset about someone setting up a fake Twitter account and using the HoS lawyers to try, vainly, to heavy Twitter they should perhaps get the lawyers to look a little closer to home at their columnist and her two little lies in this weeks column.

Whaleoil’s spies scoured the MTV awards looking for the piece of pork we like to call Pork Chop and she was nowhere – as in NO WHERE. They walked the red carpet for an hour, worked the entire NZ media area – of which they had names and locations of who was to be where and she was NO WHERE. When they were put in what is called a holding area and taken to an area deemed the ‘glamour pit’ for VIPS and media for the actual awards ceremony. Once again NO WHERE.

My snitches swear they were sober the whole night and specifically on the lookout for her, and lets face it an arse the size of hers is a very difficult thing to hide. They even had a dog team out looking for her, like a whole crew of Jake the Muss’ going pig hunting.

Our spies even stayed till all hours at the after party, hung out with all the kiwis and NO WHERE. The kiwi crew were asked rather pointedly “is that fat c**t here?” No, they said she wasn’t. Our WOBH team circulated and circulated looking for that thing and it was NO WHERE.

Where was the missing pig? Why has Pork Chop written not one but two pieces about flying on Air New Zealand to the show and about the show when after exstensive investigations it apears she stayed in the hotel room and destroyed the room service menu?

While we are talking of making shit up, Spy also had a full page “scoop” of the new look Donna Awatere-Huata….WRONG! It isn’t. The photo is of some slapper who works in the homo clothes shop called Masons at 179 Ponsonby Road. If Pork Chop had bothered to even try to find out some details she would have known this and known too that her name is something silly as well, therefore qualifying her to claim Silly First name Syndrome. Her first name is unpronoucable and would score big in Scrabble.

Plus there are the obvious things that no amount of Plastic Surgery can hide, the hands, the legs, and the wattle….you know the wobbly bit on the neck that turkey’s have. The hands are those of a younger woman and no 60 year old woman could possibly have legs looking like after she was as big as she used to be. Pork Chop has got it so wrong she should be sued.

This weeks Spy is an EPIC FAIL! Based almost entirely on falsehood. Certainly the two full page articles about the MTV awards and Donna Awatere-Huata are entirely a fiction dreamed up from Pork Chops mind. Our spies tell us she wasn’t in attendence at the MTV awards despite availing herself of paid for flights and accommodation and she has got it dead wrong on the identity of the capsicum shopper in Ponsonby.

The HoS lawyers will be praying hard come Monday morning. It is time for someone to take The HoS to task for supporting this blatent liar. I’d start with the photo they use of her and then move onto the “making shit up” allegations. Pork Chop’s taudry rag has become a liability.

Pork Chop upset over fake Twitter account

The Herald on Sunday has a rather weak article about Twitter and fake accounts. I say rather weak because they are whinging about a fake Rachel Glucina account.

Glucina, who is not a member of Twitter, became aware someone was impersonating her when a friend alerted her to the fake account on March 24.

“It was hurtful that someone could write such ugly, defamatory comments under my name,” she said.

She can bloody talk, and what about the blatent mis-representation every week in the paper with that fake photo of her emblazoned across the paper.

The HoS also mentions the fake Politician accounts and given the paper’s failure through legal circles to do anything it looks like Labour’s whining will also fall on deaf ears.

The funny thing is that the HoS shows how completely uninformed they are about social media. They have now simple drawn atention to the fake Pork Chop account and will ensure that all and sundry will now be twitterring about it.

Reasons to Love Marc Ellis

As if we need reasons to love Marc Ellis, but there is one this morning, he has tried to run down Pork Chop aka Rachel Glucina. The only reason perhaps that Pork Chop is still alive is that Marc feared for the god awful mess that would have occurred had he actually hit the behemoth.

Seriously though the woman has more cheek than a fat woman’s arse…..oh wait….

Just last month, I was crossing, okay jay-walking, across Ponsonby Rd and I waited at the median island, which is just as well, really, because this car sped up as I was about to step out at and it was Jude Dobson crunched over the steering wheel! Hey Jude, I wanted to say, what gives with the Speedy Gonzalez driving? But then I figured, on the bright side, if Dobson had accidentally hit me, at least I’d have expected she’d have picked up a thing or two about first aid after those nana health advertorials she does. I was in safe hands.

Oh come, there is no way we are going to believe that one, Pork Chop would ahve hung over the sides of even the most generous sized median island!

Seriously this woman should have a Wide Load sign permanently affixed to her massive arse.

Ok enough already about food!

Rachel Glucina is a fattyI have resisted posting, as to post and link will give her traffic, but I can resist no longer.

Rachel Glucina, for those who don’t know her by her more apt blogosphere nickname as Pork Chop is known as a gossip columnist. This of course presumes that she actually writes her own columns which on occaisson we have seen she does not, despite passing it off as her own work. Nevertheless she has a column and every Sunday we can look forward to seeing stuff, generally about nobodies, and live vicariously through her column.

Lately though Pork Chop has taken on an unfortunate penchant for commenting or blogging about the size of this celebrity or that celebrity all the while hiding behind her drastically photoshopped visage that heads the column. Not to mention the immense facination she has with food. The Chop herself could never be called svelte, in fact she is bordering on the immense yet she has the temerity to accuse others of that which she suffers.

This Sunday she rather callously delved into the life of former neighbour and school chum Rachel Hunter who, yes, is looking a litle chunkier but still a long way off the immensity that is Pork Chop. Given a choice between the two Rachel’s in their present condition to get your leg over, it is no choice at all Rachel H would beat Rachel G anyday of the week. There isnt a man on the planet that could or want to get his leg over Pork Chop.

Cameron Brewer Media WhoreHas this woman no shame? Well turns out she doesn’t. Just today she added a new post to her blog, a blog which seems to have attracted all sorts of sychophantic media whores to it, and again she goes on about fat people.

Pork daaaaaarhlink you are a fatty yourself. I suggest you stop blogging and writing until our put your own house in order. Might I suggest that instead of waddling to the cafe for a plate of pies you actually get yourself into the gym.

On another note i see she is also mentioning that she worked for Vodafone once upon a time….pity she didn’t tell us how she parted company with said company. Rachel’s work has been described to me by another former boss as “all icing and no cake” (there’s that recurrent food theme eh?), well that isn’t at all surprising is it considering she ate all the cake?

Zemanta Pixie

Hi my name is Rachel and I'm a foodaholic

Things are getting bitchy in the gossip world. Porkchop did a 20/20 show about herself and Ana Samways has commented.

[quote]Rachel Glucina, the Herald On Sunday’s gossip columnist, appeared on 20/20 on Thursday night and revealed how she was hurt other media suggested she may have slept with Mick Jagger to get a story, yet she took no responsibility for the hurt she caused by wrongly suggesting Trevor Mallard was having an affair with a high profile netballer. With her chubby chipmunk face and cute lisp, you’d think butter wouldn’t melt. Even with the hypocrisy revealed, I’m not sure if it’s covering for ruthlessness or general dumbness.[/quote]

Ouch that has gotta hurt. No doubt (P)Ricardo and Porkchop will start a whispering campaign against Ana. Speaking of the mallard affair I understand from the word around town that the cost of that little oops was around $20k. Good god are the Herald turning on their own?, Spareroom is a Herald creation if I am not mistaken so did Ana miss the memo from Shayne Currie that Porkie “sells 3-4,000 papers a week (of the half million circulation) and so has to be supported?”. There will be a cat fight at dawn when Porkchop reads that post from Ana.

With Ana calling her chubby we here at WOBH need to ask if the rumours are true that Porkchop has received an offer she can’t refuse from Jenny Craig. Perhaps Rachel has taken the advice, somone callously called over their shoulder one day after copping a snakey comment from Porkchop, imploring her to call Jenny. Things are getting out of control though for Porkchop, just last night she was seen wearing a corset!!! Then there is this little photoshop of Porkchop that arrived in my inbox a while ago.

Well two things we know for sure, she hasn’t seen the inside of a gym for quite sometime and she isn’t sucking on the end of the a ‘P’ pipe and its not like she can’t get a steady supply of it!

WOBH thinks one or other of those options would succeed better for her than Jenny Craig. Finally a little video interlude to consider.



Bitch Slap II

Rachel Glucina is a fucking slow learner. She has decided to up the ante with Cactus Kate and got her ass handed to her yet again.

Girls, can I make a suggestion?

Jello pool, video cam, You Tube….my money is on Cactus.